About

Welcome to my humor blog. This is for stuff that I generally find funny that wouldn't really fit on my other blog(s).

Q: Why 'When Cows Cry?'
A: Why not?

The idea for 'When Cows Cry' started many months ago when my wife—The Evil Space Monkey—and I were talking about how there were moments from our lives that we should record for posterity. In particular, the idea of a 'What I Said; What She Heard' feature seemed very appealing because my wife is rapidly losing her hearing from listening to too much country music and NPR.

Q: But what about the name?
A: I think William's a rather nice name. What's your problem?

I don't honestly recall the origin of the name properly. I know that even before we married I would frequently amuse my wife by mooing seductively. The seductive cow meme has continued in our relationship ever since. At some point, I thought it would be amusing to link it up with the song 'When Doves Cry' (though I never attempted to write a song or anything).

Q: So what's with the ducks?
A: They live here, of course.

They are the Horde of Abominable Duckies. They actually began as a running gag in a game I used to play. I bought a few ducks at Pennsic a few years ago that happened to look like my two cats. You can see them in the background picture: a duck who looks like a black and white tuxedo cat just to the right (as you view it) of the Liberty Duck, and another duck two over to the right of that one that has whiskers and looks like an orange tabby cat. After that, I bought four more ducks around Christmas time (the big ones), and since then people just give me ducks.

Q: What's with 'The Evil Space Monkey?'
A: I don't know what her problem is either.

She just really likes to pick at me physically. One time this caused me to exclaim, "Will you stop that! You're like some kind of horrible space monkey!" She laughed for 15 minutes straight. A few days later I used her phone to post this status to Facebook: "is an Evil Space Monkey. It's true." Ever since then, the name has stuck (for me at least).

Q: What about 'The Serious Spider?'
A: Similar situation. 

I was tickling her and she grabbed my hand. I made a finger puppet with my hand and said, "Herro. I am the spider. Rawr!" and bit her with my hand. We both laughed for several minutes. Then I said, "Now to be serious." This caused us to laugh for several minutes more. When the laughter had died down, I used the spider again and said, "Herro. I am the spider. And I am serious. Rawr!" And I bit her with my hand again. Yet again, we laughed some more. So it seemed appropriate to continue with the Serious Spider routine.

Q: What about 'The Oracle of Truth™?'
A: I would think that one is self-evident.

The terminology actually goes back to college when we were playing a game of Mafia. One of the guys in the game was the Sheriff and he had found out who the two mafioso were in the group. So when 'dawn' arose, he said, "I'm the sheriff and I know who the mafia are." He then proceeded to lay out how he obtained this knowledge and everyone seemed to be going along with it. Imagine his surprise when another villager—who was not even mafia—said, "You're not the sheriff! I'm the sheriff and you're mafia!" Imagine his yet further surprise when everyone believed the villager and executed the sheriff. We referred to that game as the Oracle of Truth game. We still have no idea why the villager did it.

So the title Oracle of Truth comes not merely from the fact that I tell the truth, but also from the fact that for some inexplicable reason no one believes me.