Driven

Yesterday, as I drove to work, I thought about all the construction in Northern Virginia and the progress they're making on it near where I work. I thought, "I wonder what this will look like when this is done." Then I realized something.

It'll never be done.

Source: Cracked

It's not that that particular construction zone is like the construction on the Baltimore Beltway that no one ever seems to see taking place. I've seen them working on it. They're almost done by the looks of it.

With the part they're working on right now.

Dead and Loving It

I believe I previously recounted the lack of sleep I incurred on Wednesday night. Last night I managed even less.

Today was PFC Brother-in-law's USMC graduation. Last night I went to bed around 1 a.m. and fell asleep close to 2 a.m. One of my other brothers-in-law and his friend arrived half an hour later to crash in our room. I managed to fall back asleep around 4:30 a.m.

His alarm went off futilely at 5 a.m. Mine went off at 5:15. Other than a 20 min. nap I caught while they were at the MCX, that's pretty much all the sleep I got.

Which isn't a problem if you're not driving 7.5 hours afterward.

Which I was.

Needless to say, I died in a fiery-deer-activated flaming wreck on the way to VA.

I concur.

I'll provide more details tomorrow after I find a healer for a rez and a mender to fix my gear.

Automotive Archnemesisery

No, I don't think it's a word either.

In accordance with prophecy, we drove down to Parris Island last night. By we, I mean I drove the whole way and the wife got to sleep some. After we arrived, we had about a half hour downtime, during which my body decided it would have none of that, and I was forced (by my body) to sleep instead of going to family day to congratulate my brother-in-law.

I'm told in retrospect it was the right decision because of the back pain others incurred. Apparently Marine Corps boot camp is hard on everybody in proximity.

While driving down, we made remarkably good time, hitting no traffic, which is a borderline miracle when going around DC. Right after we got back on to I-95, though, I felt the car kick as the tachometer showed a jump of about 500 rpm suddenly at around 65 mph.

This displeased me.

The darned car has been stalking me, waiting until I was vulnerable before striking. Shortly after our first stop in Roanoke Rapids, NC, it kicked again and the Service Engine Soon light came on.

Three-hundred sixty-one miles short of my destination.

Trunk Junk: An Automotive Postscript

The Service Engine Soon light has not returned today, so that's a good sign. We also failed to get a single millimeter of precipitation from the supposed big winter storm that was to hit our area last night.

Which is an annoying sign.

Emboldened by my recent auto repair, I decided on a whim to attempt another feat of car fixerry. For years now we've had a problem with the trunk of the car, in which holding down the automatic trunk release button on the keychain had no effect. I noticed recently that it at least made a sound, so I decided to check it out. Here are the results.

You know that thing they say about mechanics trying to rip you off? Apparently it's true.

Fermented Anger: An Automotive Saga

Sometimes when people learn that I'm a professor or get to see me display my professorial knowledge they'll comment something to the effect, "Wow. You're so smart."

And they manage to say it without seeming sarcastic, which is weird.

Since my job is to try to teach people something they all think they can't learn (another language), I often point out to them that it's not so much that I'm smart as that I am better educated in a specialized field.

Even if I'm smarter than most of them.

I say all of that to lead to this fact: I am a complete idiot when it comes to cars.

This is what the guys at Advance Auto Parts see when I come in.

When I was in 11th grade, my high school had us take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB). At the time, I knew even less about tools like wrenches or the fabled socket wrench than I do right now. I would not be surprised if I said they were some kind of screwdrivers.

The military told me to be a social worker.

My Life with the Suicide Car

The check engine light in my car came on today. This made me cross.

I'm totally taking my business to Burger King then.

The incident occurred just before I dropped the Space Monkey off at work. My mood regarding this was not aided by the part where she shifted the car into neutral at a stoplight.

Dominical Double-Down: Ice-Road Drivers

It is with tears in my heart and sadness in my eyes that I must confess I missed posting yesterday. So in order to provide you, my loyal readers, with the bloggage you so desire, I am doubling down today. First...

Source: Rhode Island Department of Transportation

While we didn't get that much snow and ice Friday evening, we got enough to leave about an inch of icy snow on top of all vehicles. The picture above is an example provided by the Rhode Island Department of Transportation (because Maryland's DOT would probably just tell you about some kind of innovative new ice tax they're levying for your benefit) of what not to do.

Winter in the DMV

Continuing on a theme from last Tuesday, here's what the weather was like today in Savage.

I know what you're thinking, but my wipers do actually work.

This is what winter's like here in the DMV.

The Hills Have Diapers: A Thanksgiving Survival Horror (Part I)

Two weeks ago, my parents came way up here (as my father liked to remind us). Their purpose was two-fold: to visit us and to join us for Thanksgiving with my in-laws in the hills of West Virginia.

True story: there's a place in WV named Scary....

What could possibly go wrong?

Outside: the Revenge

So this morning as I took the Space Monkey to work, she said, "I'm so jealous you get to be outside today."

There's that word again.

I looked up at the sky and saw nothing but ominous—nay, portentous!—grey clouds. Sure enough, this was my view by the time I got to the school:

Yes, I get a "reserved" spot; no, it's not actually that close to the building in which I teach.

And I got to drive to Northern Virginia in it at rush hour. I also get to drive back in it after dark.

Envy me all ye and despair!

Home

Is a beautiful place.

The trip to and from West Virginia has reminded me of something very important. There are a lot of places in this country (and world) that I'd really love to go see.

But they're way over there.

On a side note, my brothers-in-law and I are all in for this.