Date Night, Adjunct Style

It may come as a surprise to those who know me that Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday. Wait...there's a word missing from that sentence. 'Not!' That's the word.

It may not come as a surprise to those who know me that Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday. See, I prefer to love my wife every day of the year.

Speechless (because I'm lame).

It's not that I'm incapable of romance or smooveness. I have a story or two I could tell, but that would be bragging.

Also, Tuesday is a stupid day for a holiday.

Phantom Begging

When I was doing my internship several years ago, I went in one day wearing all black with a VeggieTales tie. I explained that I was dressed this way so people might not notice I didn't own an iron.

The next time I came in, two different women gave me new irons.

Impressed with my success, I went in again a few weeks later dressed the same way and explained that I did not have any living room furniture.

A couple donated their old living room furniture to me.

I debated trying it one more time and letting everyone know I didn't have a 46" HDTV.

Sometimes, when I game...I ask higher level players for their swords too.

Das Katzenhaus: Meditations on a Cherry Blossom

When the cold months dwindled away and the One began to open the blinds in the largest room to let in light, Diego discovered the beauty of the world outside his home.

Different room and season, but I never tire of this picture.

Resolutely Irresolute

Last night we had a New Year's Eve get-together, because that's what people do. Nary had our friend the Comedy Llama arrived when the D.A.L.A. started tearing the Llama's clothing off.

Because it was highly reflective.

Granted, all I'm talking about here is an airport runway vest. She still had her uniform coveralls on. Why? What did you think I was talking about?

Perverts.

Recap

This morning, I went shopping...and Starbucks was closed.

Also true.

That said, today started off well. I woke up without my alarm clock at 7 a.m.—while it was still dark—showered, slipped out the house, and did groceries while the masses were still amassing.

Perfect people-free morning.

Wrapping Gifts the Man Way

Another video post. I know. It's a phase.

I promised my sister-in-law, that I would record the Space Monkey's reaction to the gift I gave her. I also decided I would record my method of wrapping gifts to show my wife she is loved.

A note on prescient coincidences: my wife got me a housecoat for Christmas. A few weeks ago, I looked at her and said I needed a housecoat. She gave me an alarmed look followed by an inquisitive look: "Why?" What I didn't realize then is that she had already gotten me one.

Yesterday, the Space Monkey had off from work and began playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess on the GameCube. I began to wonder.

Nope, she didn't see it coming.

/duck-cackle

Happy Christmas

No dramatically long post today. We're headed over to the Eastern Shore to spend Christmas Eve with family. I know I won't have time (or energy probably) to post when I get home, so this is my Christmas wishes to you post. I like the solemnity of the British version: Happy Christmas.

Because I'm big on solemnity.

As an aside, the white duck standing next to Jesus there is the one my wife mockingly calls "Justin Bieber ducky." As you can see, it's actually a horse ducky. More on that tomorrow.

Until then, for the Evil Space Monkey of Love and the Horde of Abominable Duckies, this is the Oracle of Truth™ praying for a Happy Christmas to all of you.

Christmas Songs (To Annoy Friends)

As I've mentioned before, I'm from New Jersey, specifically the part of New Jersey just outside of NYC. In my brief experience, the NY-Metro area is the most ethnically diverse part of the country. I was shocked at how non-diverse and provincial the Baltimore-DC area is when I got here.

Anyway, before I go off on a tangent about diversity, the reason I brought this up is that this is a Christmas song I grew up listening to:

Even though I'm Hispanic, I adore this song. All of my Italian friends from NJ and NY have indicated a liking for it (although the Queen of the Damned tries not to).

Everyone else seems to hate it.

What do you think of it?

People-Free Day

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year.

Except I like coffee. And I'm male.

Yesterday while out to lunch with a bunch of friends from church, I learned that my ex-girlfriend's mother takes people-free days.

Best. Idea. Ever.

The Hills Have Diapers (Conclusion)

Saturday morning, I awoke before dawn.

Have I mentioned how creepy trees are?

The Hills Have Diapers (Part 4)

Friday was a much less manic day than Thursday had been, even though it was my day to prepare dinner. That meant significantly fewer cooks in the kitchen.

Even if my mother was being too helpful.

Strangely, a real book.

The Hills Have Diapers (Part 3)

Thanksgiving morning, I began the day as I always do when in child-infested territory.

By dragging my heels.

My wife can attest to the difficulties of dragging me out of bed when I don't want to be out of bed (like before noon on a Saturday or anytime she wants to go outside). Strangely, though, most of my heel dragging did not involve our bed while there.

Because it was killing us.

The Hills Have Diapers (Part 2)

We arrived at our location in West Virginia shortly after 10 a.m. Once there, we were greeted by my brother-in-law (the husband of Cain's wife) and a terrifying hound of hell.

And he was monstrous.

My father-in-law, his two single sons, and the Cains (x5) had come up the previous night. I must explain to you how inspirational this was.

The Hills Have Diapers: A Thanksgiving Survival Horror (Part I)

Two weeks ago, my parents came way up here (as my father liked to remind us). Their purpose was two-fold: to visit us and to join us for Thanksgiving with my in-laws in the hills of West Virginia.

True story: there's a place in WV named Scary....

What could possibly go wrong?

Transition

My parents are returning home from their vacation way up here in the North. For me this marks the transition between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

My wife's family deeply enjoys the fact that I hate Christmas trees. It's that whole thing where I don't like wasting money on trivial things like decorations, relatives under 13, and my health.

So where'd this come from?

Fun with Fire

Down in WV, which my uncle claims is small. It's 3 times the size of New Jersey.

Anyway, went out stargazing and the fam gathered around the fire to make s'mores.