Fermented Anger: An Automotive Saga

Sometimes when people learn that I'm a professor or get to see me display my professorial knowledge they'll comment something to the effect, "Wow. You're so smart."

And they manage to say it without seeming sarcastic, which is weird.

Since my job is to try to teach people something they all think they can't learn (another language), I often point out to them that it's not so much that I'm smart as that I am better educated in a specialized field.

Even if I'm smarter than most of them.

I say all of that to lead to this fact: I am a complete idiot when it comes to cars.

This is what the guys at Advance Auto Parts see when I come in.

When I was in 11th grade, my high school had us take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB). At the time, I knew even less about tools like wrenches or the fabled socket wrench than I do right now. I would not be surprised if I said they were some kind of screwdrivers.

The military told me to be a social worker.

Date Night, Adjunct Style

It may come as a surprise to those who know me that Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday. Wait...there's a word missing from that sentence. 'Not!' That's the word.

It may not come as a surprise to those who know me that Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday. See, I prefer to love my wife every day of the year.

Speechless (because I'm lame).

It's not that I'm incapable of romance or smooveness. I have a story or two I could tell, but that would be bragging.

Also, Tuesday is a stupid day for a holiday.

IMMD

I don't have anything funny to share today, just something that made my day.

The Spring Semester began on Tuesday, and one of my college students wasn't in class. I sent an e-mail to his school e-mail address, but got no response. He wasn't there again on Thursday, so I despaired of seeing him in class this semester.

As I was organizing my school e-mail account today, I found his personal e-mail address, which he had used to contact me last semester. So I sent him off a revised e-mail letting him know that I missed him in class, and how he could still join us.

Around 6:45 tonight, he called me and said that he had withdrawn from all of his classes this afternoon. Then he received my e-mail and changed his mind about my class. He said, "You reminded me that you were the professor who cared and who I could work with." So he's coming back to my class.

It made my day.

Resolutely Irresolute

Last night we had a New Year's Eve get-together, because that's what people do. Nary had our friend the Comedy Llama arrived when the D.A.L.A. started tearing the Llama's clothing off.

Because it was highly reflective.

Granted, all I'm talking about here is an airport runway vest. She still had her uniform coveralls on. Why? What did you think I was talking about?

Perverts.

Delusions of Finality MK II

In which I perish.

Smitten by a survival kit. How ironic.

There's a story about that.

It Came from Finals (Part 1?)

As I related previously, this is Finals week. Here's what's awesome about being a professor.

Student: "The Santa Clause." Me: "Cute, but I hated those movies."

Student: "Mrs. Clause." Me: "She's cute, but Christmas is canceled. And the Easter Bunny's dead."

Admittedly, I could be more witty, but eh.

On the off chance you're curious, the answer I was looking for (this semester) is a third attributive (adjective). That's the pattern noun-definite article-adjective. When they get into actual syntax next year, it's an accusative in simple apposition: kyrion is the direct object, ton theon is an appositive.

Both their answers are wrong, obviously, but it was extra credit anyway.

Delusions of Finality

The funny has been drained from me today.

Perimeter Breach: Adjunct Professor in the Mailroom!

Yesterday was our barony's annual bardic circle. It's a garb-optional event, which means I show up looking like this.

Apparently trying to part something or other.

I say this to introduce the fact that I stopped in to work dressed like this on the way to the bardic circle.

A Little Light Reading Material

I wonder how much of this I'll actually get to this week.

Beware the Ides of March

I know it's a bit early to tell people to beware the Ides of March, but there's a reason it's on my mind. As I mentioned yesterday, I've been working on my syllabi for next semester. Upon completion of my syllabus for my college class, I noticed something that made my day.

My college students will take their mid-term exam on the Ides of March.

I won't lie: I may have danced a little.

In celebration of this portentous omen, I give you Daisy Doomsayer.

Your doom awaits you.