Das Katzenhaus: Bad Touch

The days continued to pass into weeks and months since Diego had been brought to this new home from his old one. Gone was the cage, the other cats, the lack of attention. The One—as there was only one who was always with him—gave him as much or as little attention as he desired. And there was even a sufficient mouse problem to keep him occupied.

A strangely persistent mouse problem.

Das Katzenhaus: Origins

In the beginning there was Andrew.

At least, that's what the people who fed him called him. He was all right with this, although his world was a cage that separated him from others like him.

But none were like him.

People like the ones who fed him would come by often and play with the others, but not with Andrew. He lived in his cage with his food and his bed.

He was comfortable with this.

One day, three people came by like normal. Andrew thought nothing of this since they always played with the others.

This group was different though. One of them pointed at Andrew. The people who fed him opened the cage and picked him up. He was placed in the One's arms and began to sense there was something yet more different about him. Although another played with one of the babies nearby, this One insisted on keeping Andrew.

He was placed in a different cage now and taken away from his home.

To a mysterious new world.

The One and the others let him out of the new cage. Timidly, he stepped forward into this new world. There were no others like him there. There were no cages. The floor was soft and there were wide open spaces. The One and the others watched him intently, but he didn't notice. Instead he crept forward inquisitively, casting his eyes and nose about. One paw after another, he crept away from the cage and around a corner.

There he found a new shelter.

It became clear to him over the next few hours that his name was apparently no longer Andrew. He wasn't certain, but he thought his name might now be, "Please come out."

He stayed in that place for hours until the hands had stopped reaching for him and the light had become darkness. When the sounds had mostly subsided, he crept forth slowly, nosing about and smelling the new smells in the new places.

Two of the others came over, one scooping him up while the other sealed up the place he had just been. They took him to another room and began to pet him and brush him and put him at ease.

The next day he learned a new word. His new name.

Diego.

Out of Funny

I'm out of funny for the day.

And I do feel bad about that.

The lesson learned is that I clearly need to write these earlier in the day. Until then, XOXO.

The Evil Dubstep Spirit of Hockey

The following really did happen.

Cookie Monster was unavailable for comment.

Where do I begin?

The Get Off My Lawn Chronicles: Part V

I'm all dried up on funny today for some reason.

Probably has something to do with Mario Kart.

I'll be starting a new series tomorrow or the day after, if'n I can get my motivation going. The only reason I went with The Get Off My Lawn Chronicles for today is that it is yet another holiday week, and the same neighbors have put their recycling out a day too early.

Which is in accordance with prophecy.

Corned Beef and Rice

True story: before we started dating, I had never had traditional (Irish-style?) corned beef; my wife had never had Hispanic-style corned beef. There is a difference!

Like the part where it comes in a can (Goya Corned Beef via Wegmans)

The amusing thing about this is that when we would start talking about how much we like corned beef, she was thinking of a brisket while I was thinking about a stew/sauce.

Resolutely Irresolute

Last night we had a New Year's Eve get-together, because that's what people do. Nary had our friend the Comedy Llama arrived when the D.A.L.A. started tearing the Llama's clothing off.

Because it was highly reflective.

Granted, all I'm talking about here is an airport runway vest. She still had her uniform coveralls on. Why? What did you think I was talking about?

Perverts.